darth frosty
JoinedPosts by darth frosty
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172
Are You Raising An Introvert?
by darth frosty inits not easy being an introvert in an extrovert worldespecially when youre a kid.
it is even more difficult if none of the adults in the kids life recognize that the child is an introvert.
this doesnt happen only when the childs parents are extroverts, but also with introverted parents who have never understood their own introverted nature.. .
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172
Are You Raising An Introvert?
by darth frosty inits not easy being an introvert in an extrovert worldespecially when youre a kid.
it is even more difficult if none of the adults in the kids life recognize that the child is an introvert.
this doesnt happen only when the childs parents are extroverts, but also with introverted parents who have never understood their own introverted nature.. .
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darth frosty
nuther quora goody
Shravan Venkataraman, I am an introvert and I know it!Let me provide the perspective of the other side. Coming from an introvert, this is how it is like to have a partner who is introverted.
Most of the answers have tipped towards the type of introverts who are shy, reserved, and not really the type who speaks much.
I am going to shed light on the type of introverts who
- prefer to keep to themselves
yet
- talk so much with those who are very close to them.
- take time to trust people and open up
yet
- difficult to make them shut up once they open up.
- prefer to sit at home and watch a movie/read a book
yet
- when thrown in a social party or when put in a crowd, can handle themselves with ease.
- are inquisitive, curious and a lot inward focused
yet
- are also those who prefer to speak only when it is absolutely necessary.
and so on.
What is it like to have a partner like this? He/She is essentially an introvert, but just not your stereotypical introvert type. Let me tell you what it's like to have such a person in your life.1. Their presence forces you to introspect about life:
As far as I have known, I know this very strongly. The people that were even friends with me have told me this. That, the way I am, because of how deeply focused I am and how I live life inside out, they have told me how it inspired them to take some time and think about their life.
It might be direct or just plain indirect inspiration. But, an introvert's presence in your life, introvert of the kind I described, will always inspire you at one or the other point of your life to introspect about your life, what you are doing and how you're doing it.2. They love to listen to you:
I always love to listen to people talk about themselves, their day, their life, aspirations, dreams. Most importantly, I love to listen to people talk about their dreams and aspirations, what kind of work they are doing towards fulfilling them. It's the passion and the sparkle that I see in their eyes that makes me want it more.
I'd rather talk less about my dreams and my story and let people talk about it as passionately as they want to talk about it, and I'd listen so happily.
When it comes down to having a partner, she'd find one thing sure - that she can always talk about anything and everything and that I'd listen.3. They give attention to details:
Introverts, especially those like me, are very particularly attentive about details. You can think about Sherlock Holmes here. Like I mentioned in the #4 of this answer - Shravan Venkataraman's answer to How do introverts enjoy life?, the observational skill of an introvert is the best thing about him/her.
I pay attention to details. I think about everything through. Every conversation, every single word said, every single thing uttered, every single glances shared gets to stay in the memory. So, introverts are naturally good at remembering birthdays, numbers, important events.
You might say something while passing, without any regard to what you're telling or what he/she might be thinking. He/She will definitely notice it. If it's something you love, he/she will take it into account and make sure they show/do it whenever an opportunity is there. The girlfriend of my friend just said something in random passing, showing him a cotton sweet candy seller and told him that she loved it so much in her childhood and that she craved it time and again. The next week, he called her home (they live close by). She went to his home to practice for their upcoming performance (IIT Sarang). And when she arrived at his home, he had a cotton candy waiting for her. I don't have to tell you what happened next, but you get the point right?
This is also something you need to be aware of. Coz, any small hurtful thing you say in passing, will stay with them for a long time, longer than you imagine. You can just randomly pass a snarky comment and it will definitely go deep.4. You become more sensitive (to the beauty around you and also to the pain around you):
Introverts are naturally sensitive and they feel things in extremes. They are so sensitive to beauty that they get to feel beauty in depth. As a result of that, whenever they encounter beauty in anything, they are overwhelmed by the beauty, over come by joy, they can even be reduced to tears of happiness more often than you know it. Take them to a hilltop or take them to an orphanage and have them interact with those children, you can see the evidence of this.
The same thing is basically applicable to the contrast situation too. When they feel pain, they feel it in a magnified way. So, it's kind of very difficult for them when they go through any kind of pain.
How does it affect you as a partner of such an introvert? When you start living with them or sharing your life with them, you tend to be receptive to their sensitivity. It's often difficult to make them come out of their shell and make them share what they are feeling, but you can always see it in them. You become more perceptive, intuitive, sensitive to how they are since you will always have to use your intuition and your sensing capabilities in order to understand what they are going through and take part in it with them, which in turn makes you more sensitive to the beauty around you, and equally sensitive to the pain around you. You start becoming a better person that way.5. They are never insecure. You can be very secure about them.
In my opinion, insecurity is something that's pretty rare with the introverts of the kind I described at the beginning of this post.
In my case, even when my girlfriend has a lot of guy friends (even those that once proposed to her), I am never gonna feel threatened by them. You know why? Coz, I know it in me that no one else can give her what I can. That's the way I am secure in my own space. I am not going to be afraid to lose her, coz you can never lose someone. If I am going to be afraid of something, I will be afraid of losing myself. Even that, I rarely am. Losing myself in her isn't a problem. But, losing the core essence of who I am in the process of going through the relationship day after day, is what I'd be afraid of.
Being an introvert, I make sure that that doesn't happen, by taking time, reflecting and improving myself every single day.
How does it impact you as a partner? Since your partner reflects about his/her life on a daily basis, he/she tends to know your value more than you know it. If you're a deserving person, he/she is going to cherish you and your relationship so much. If you're not, one day or the other, the relationship will fall apart.
Also, since your partner doesn't go out actively flirting or making connections, and since they focus inwardly and work on growing, reading, writing, and developing themselves, they rarely ever snoop out of the relationship to have some thrill and fun.6. You learn what unconditional love is like:
Introverts like me, as partners, are more likely to teach you what unconditional love is.
I love unconditionally. Which means this:
It doesn't matter if you're good, bad, pretty, ugly, handsome, stinky, skinny, fat, etc., the love will always flow through them for you.
Yes, they will often tell you to eat clean, work out, drop those extra kilos, and they will subtly drop hints which will point you towards the direction of becoming your best self. But, it's always going to be out of concern rather than out of something materialistic.
Being with them shows you how unconditional love can be. Being with them opens you up to the world of living in love without any limits, without any limitations. There will be no limits posed on you, as well as the love for you.
And, this gets you to be a lil bit more unconditional with every single passing day.7. They teach you self love:
Introverts like the ones I described, are able to love themselves first before they can give out the overflowing love in them. They have to love themselves first in order to be able to love the others. Other people may wait for you to love them first and then give you back, some may even give first and expect love back necessarily, but this kind I described - they will love themselves first and give the overflowing love to you, whether or not you give it back. Coz, to them, the love comes from a place of abundance and not from a place of scarcity. And, so, they find it effortless to love you.
It all starts with self love. The way they take care of themselves and give attention to the littlest things in their life (like the lights, buildings, song, the drive, etc., shown in the picture above), in your life - makes you wanna love yourself more. You won't even have to consciously do it. You will start becoming the person who loves him/herself more and more every day before giving out love, naturally, when you have such a person's presence in your life.8. It's easy to satisfy them:
People like me, the kind I described, are easily satisfied.
I am easily satisfied with good food, a cozy bed, a warm kiss and a book to read. Otherwise, you don't even have to spend all time all day with me. Just a few minutes everyday with me is enough for me to be satisfied with you in life. I am not someone who would complain that you're not spending enough time. I am not someone who would bug you every now and then. I am not someone who would restrict you from going out or talking to someone or living your life. I am certainly not someone you'd find hard to please or satisfy.
In essence, you don't even have to think about or try pleasing them. They are naturally pleased and your presence and a caring concern from your side is more than enough for them to be happy with you. This applies to everything. I mean "everything".9. When they have a problem and they are sharing it with you, more often than not, they know the solution.
When an introvert is opening up to you about something that's bothering them or about some problem they have encountered, more often than not, they know the solution already.
They won't really want you to solve it for them. And they certainly don't want you to treat them like they don't know the solution or that they can't solve it themselves. Especially during such situations like this, they are very sensitive to the littlest things you say. This is exactly why it is very important to not make fun of them or not do something that could set them off, especially when they muster up courage and open up to share it with you.
They definitely don't want you to make fun of them or something related to the problem they are describing, when they share their problem/what they are going through, with you. So, when they are serious, please take them seriously. Otherwise, you risk making them feel further upset, adding fuel to the fire. They don't always demand your attention, but when they are trying to open up, especially during a difficult situation, they require that you be sensitive towards their feelings.
They will often have the solution and will just want you to listen to what they have to say. If they want your perspective, they will explicitly ask for it. If you want to give him/her your perspective, do so in a way that won't hurt their ego. They are very vulnerable at such situations.10. They are better at parenting:
I have an idea of what kind of world I want to bring my twin-daughters into. And I will make sure that I create such a world for them to be born into and grow up in. We are naturally better as parents. Why? Because of all of the reasons mentioned above. We love unconditionally & we are interesting to talk to (coz we read a lot).
As parents, introverts show children how it's okay to be inward focused. We show our children how important it is to be inward focused. Children learn from their parents' actions rather than from what their parents teach them explicitly. As introverts, they learn from us that
- silence is beautiful.
- words we utter are very important.
- It's wonderful to be sensitive and that
- It's okay to feel things deeply.
- Life's better and easier when we don't care much about what others think about us (especially those who don't matter).
- To be happy, one ought to be inward focused.
- Happiness is independent of everything outside of you and you're in control of your own happiness.
- It's important to respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that doesn't serve you.
- It's important to be in harmony with yourself and with the place you're in if you want to conduct your life peacefully.
- You can be peaceful even when you're in pain.
and so on.
As parents, introverts appear more present to their children than their extrovert counterparts. Introverts tend to give more attention to detail and also generally tend to be more attentive, and hence the children lean more onto the introvert parent more than the extrovert one. Also, since the introvert parent is happier by him/herself, children tend to model them when it comes down to learning to be individualistic and happy on one's own.
So, having an introvert as your partner, you can make sure that they will end up inspiring your children in one way or the other.
This is not an exhaustive list after all. This is just one part of it. There is more to introverts and being a partner of one than you might think. In a way, you get to see your world with a different set of eyes and if there's a biggest takeaway from sharing your life with an introvert, it's the way you learn to look at the world with a different set of glasses. -
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Where are they now? - Paul Illingworth
by Black Man inanyone know whatever happened to former do paul illingworth?
he was teaching mts school for many years, but heard that he got out of the do work (before they got rid of the arrangement).
he was super intelligent and one of the "nicer" company men that i came across during my time in the borg.
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darth frosty
eww just looked it up this replaced MTS and allows sisters in.
http://www.news-journalonline.com/article/20141226/NEWS/141229531
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7
Christian Life and Ministry
by Gorbatchov inof course we were all surprised by the new wts move with the christian life and ministry meeting.. today i googled the term christian life and ministry and got a direct link to evangelical churches.. so, does this mean anything?.
gorby.
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darth frosty
someone should lock down FB groups with that name and similar
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172
Are You Raising An Introvert?
by darth frosty inits not easy being an introvert in an extrovert worldespecially when youre a kid.
it is even more difficult if none of the adults in the kids life recognize that the child is an introvert.
this doesnt happen only when the childs parents are extroverts, but also with introverted parents who have never understood their own introverted nature.. .
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darth frosty
Happy to hear that Eva Luna!
It did the same for me, its good to understand yourself, even if others cant see it or understand.
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172
Are You Raising An Introvert?
by darth frosty inits not easy being an introvert in an extrovert worldespecially when youre a kid.
it is even more difficult if none of the adults in the kids life recognize that the child is an introvert.
this doesnt happen only when the childs parents are extroverts, but also with introverted parents who have never understood their own introverted nature.. .
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172
Are You Raising An Introvert?
by darth frosty inits not easy being an introvert in an extrovert worldespecially when youre a kid.
it is even more difficult if none of the adults in the kids life recognize that the child is an introvert.
this doesnt happen only when the childs parents are extroverts, but also with introverted parents who have never understood their own introverted nature.. .
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172
Are You Raising An Introvert?
by darth frosty inits not easy being an introvert in an extrovert worldespecially when youre a kid.
it is even more difficult if none of the adults in the kids life recognize that the child is an introvert.
this doesnt happen only when the childs parents are extroverts, but also with introverted parents who have never understood their own introverted nature.. .
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172
Are You Raising An Introvert?
by darth frosty inits not easy being an introvert in an extrovert worldespecially when youre a kid.
it is even more difficult if none of the adults in the kids life recognize that the child is an introvert.
this doesnt happen only when the childs parents are extroverts, but also with introverted parents who have never understood their own introverted nature.. .
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darth frosty
Lessons Introverts Need to Learn to Become LeadersSome of the most successful people in the world are introverts. Here's how they became leaders!Entrepreneur and investor@johnramptonWRITE A COMMENTIMAGE: Getty ImagesA leader is best when people barely know he exists. … Of a good leader, who talks little, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: We did it ourselves. --Lao Tzu
While it might not seems so from the outset, most introverts are in an ideal position to become leaders, because of the nature of their personality. Introversion and extroversion are considered two opposing points on a scale, but in reality, everyone has certain elements of each trait.
The main difference between the two types of personalities is that introverts tend to keep to themselves, reflecting more on their own psychic conditions, while extroverts are more social, finding inspiration from the world outside themselves. Introverts make excellent leaders, not necessarily by being social, but by applying their keen thoughts, sense of reflection, and attention to detail in all their projects; as well as by forming deeper and more meaningful relationships with their cohorts (everybody knows: small talk is an introvert's anathema).
According to the Lao Tzu quote above, these qualities also contribute in the work of the best leaders. As such, we have a number of world-renowned leaders who have upended their industries just by relying on the natural advantages of being introverted, such as Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson, and J.K. Rowling.
Lesson 1. Be vocal about accomplishments
Regardless of the quality of the work they do, introverts tend to get overlooked because they're not necessarily vocal about their accomplishments. After all, a programmer who quietly keeps to herself is not necessarily going to draw much attention, even if she produces amazing work. Introverts are famously averse to self-promotion, but are fundamentally successful at producing quality work.
This makes moving up the chain much harder. Introverts need to have a good sense of what they're good at, and be able to step up to defend their accomplishments to nab the positions they want.
Lesson 2. Foster deeper, more meaningful relationships with primary decision makers
One misconception of introverts is that they are shy, afraid of socializing, or antisocial, when in fact introverts generate more energy through self-reflection. It's not that they can't talk to people, it's that their energy levels dwindle during times of interaction.
What this means is that when introverts do form new connections, they tend to dive deeper than superficial small talk and foster more meaningful relationships with the people they talk to. This is their advantage--it allows them to relate in a memorable way to the people they talk to. And by meeting more important people in their companies and sharing their unique ideas, introverts can stand out.
Lesson 3. Apply the attention to detail and listening skills to contribute more thoughtful ideas into discussions
A common characteristic among introverts is a more refined attention to detail, and the ability to listen. As they spend so much time in their own heads, they can work out often overlooked aspects of certain projects, and follow their gut to important endpoints.
It's these qualities that make them valuable members of any team. They think and listen first, and speak second. By harnessing this innate ability in larger discussions that include different points of views, it'll be no time before the people around them start leaning in to hear more.
Lesson 4. Take time on your own to recharge, but challenge yourself socially every day
Most introverts feel at their best when they're on their own, so it's important for their well-being to have a certain amount of time in a day set aside to recharge, reflect, and bask in isolation. However, it's equally important that they take some time to challenge themselves socially and in a low-threat situations, like going out to lunch with colleagues and participating more than usual in meetings.
One rule that known introvert Marissa Mayer uses to help her get through uncomfortable social situations is by glancing at her watch, setting a time for herself, and telling herself, "You are not allowed to leave until this time. If you are still having a terrible time by this time, then you can leave." By forcing herself into that set timeframe, she is challenging herself to get over initial self-consciousness and opening herself up to the situation around her.
MORE:
6 Colors That Boost Creativity, Happiness, and Productivity in the Office
Bill Clinton on How Entrepreneurs Can Transform the Country
7 Mind-Expanding Lessons From TED Talks on How to Hack Your Own Brain
I’ve applied this in my own life. When I’m at a networking event, I always set a time that I can leave. For me this is typically around 30 to 45 minutes after I get there. I can force myself to network as much as possible because I know I don’t have to do it for that long, and this has helped me get over my introvertedness.
Lesson 5. Use social media, email, and public forums to your best advantage
Introverts might not be very active socially, but what they miss out on in lost interactions, they make up for in social media. Since introverts are known to communicate better with the written word, particularly behind a screen, it's no surprise that many are extremely savvy in social networking.
Well, now's a great time to be social network savvy! Having a big list of connections and the ability to write eloquent emails has never been more effective in convincing people of your skills and talents.
Being an introvert does not mean you cannot be a leader. It simply means you need to learn to play up your strengths
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Why I have renounced Atheism and become a believer again
by cantleave ini have always said that if a god showed itself i would follow the evidence and renounce my atheism.
i have now seen enough to start believing again, i am so happy, i feel a inner contentment, when he connected with me i really knew it was him.
if you are not a believer you will not understand this, but trust me, look at the evidence, open your heart to him, let him in and your life will change for the better.
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darth frosty
I am always moved by evidence of his noodly appendage.
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